How to judge whether a person is really good?
To see if he has autonomy, he can wind up himself. How to judge whether a person has a chance to succeed?
See if he can ignite spontaneously, ignite himself, full of passion.
Whether to take the initiative and always firmly grasp the right of choice is the most essential difference between people.
There are indeed many frustrating things in life and work. A lot, too much. My boss forced me to do things I didn’t like, my colleagues pushed me the task, and my family didn’t understand me.
By the way, there is that door, which I closed tightly just before I ran to the elevator. That feeling, as if the whole world is against me. Oh, what should I do? Sighing is the most commonly seen action, and complaining is the most commonly heard word.
Then, day after day, day after day. Repeat, repeat, repeat. If you ask him, why are you doing this and why not be more active? He might say that I don’t want to do this, but there is no way. I…I…I have no choice.
Every time I hear such words, I regret and regret this person. So early, the option was handed over. Is there really no choice? They don’t know that autonomy is a rare, precious, and scarce trait. This is the most essential difference between people.
Marshall Goldsmith (who is very familiar with Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, and a true master of the palace) even calls people without autonomy “slaves in white shirts.” Maybe those bad things are true, but they never believe it and have no choice.
Victor Frank, you probably know this man. During World War II, he was sent to Auschwitz concentration camp. He is not wearing a white shirt, but a slave in a prison uniform. He lined up with the others, waiting for the verdict of fate. Those who are randomly pointed by the guard will be assigned to the left of the team and taken to a place where they don’t know their names.
Where did they go? In the chimney a few hundred meters away, the unfortunate people lay, turning into a string of flames. “Your friend floated to the sky.” The cellmate told him. This is a life that is truly hopeless and terrifying. I don’t know when, it disappeared.
But is there really no choice? Victor chose to face suffering noble. He uses a glass bottle to shave his beard every day, sings and engages in activities in the concentration camp, and chooses a more proactive attitude. What’s the point of doing this?
After World War II, Victor walked out of hell on earth and wrote a famous book “The Call of Meaning”. People may be deprived of nothing, but the last freedom in human nature, the freedom to choose life attitude in any hardship and misfortune, can never be deprived.
The freedom to choose a life attitude is the last freedom a person can have.
You know that you can always stay active and always have choices, but why are so many people still willing to give up the right to choose? why? Maybe it is because of these two reasons: too evasive. Too greedy.
Let me talk about the first one. “Selection” is too hard for many people. List options, make judgments, give decisions, and undertake results. This is tremendous pressure and responsibility. If it takes a lot of effort, after so much hesitation and entanglement, what if it is not as I wanted in the end? too difficult. It’s too difficult. Can you choose for me?
Tell me, is it more advantageous to choose this way? What if it’s wrong? Wrong, you helped me choose. It’s your fault. Many people are willing to do anything in order to avoid real thinking and responsibility. Even give up the initiative of their own choice. Those people who had the courage to choose, why did they become negative in the end?
Because it is too greedy. Which one to choose between A and B in front of you? Go to the unit, easy and stable, but you can see the head at a glance. Ugh. To start a business is fresh and exciting, but too challenging. Ugh. Is there any way to have the benefits of A and B at the same time, while avoiding the disadvantages of A and B at the same time?
If you find such an option, please let me know. I want too. But before you find it, maybe you should choose one first, go on firmly, and work bravely and take responsibility.
What I just said is an individual. If you look at it from the perspective of social collaboration, people without autonomy are also terrible, and others don’t even dare to cooperate with you.
Netflix employs a classic principle: We only recruit adults. What is an adult? Just don’t need me to coax. Given the goal, think of a way to dismantle, advance, and deliver the result. Adults have only goals in their hearts, mature and simple. If you need someone to coax you to work like a parent, this is not an adult, this is a giant baby who is not grown up.
We hire for attitude, and train for skill。
It means: We hire people with good attitudes and then develop their abilities. I divided people into four types of orientations:
1) time-oriented (eight hours on the job); 2) task-oriented (saying one, not doing two); 3) goal-oriented (autumn harvest on time); 4) vision-oriented (inner-driven behavior ).
If you encounter 3 brains and 4 hearts, the interview usually only takes a few minutes. Because whether they have autonomy is the most essential difference between outstanding employees and ordinary employees.
In real collaboration, some people may be more tolerant and patient. For those who do not have autonomy, although they say “Nature is difficult to change”, they believe that “people do things”. They are willing to pay time and cost to cultivate and wait.
If you happen to meet such a person, you are very lucky. Be grateful. However, some people may be relatively impatient. Although “it’s man-made”, “the fool moves the mountain”. too long. too difficult. Don’t cooperate at all.
In reality, most people may not have the luck to meet the more patient person. Therefore, before collaborating, you must first become the autonomous person, so that you have more opportunities.
Then, what to do? How can it be autonomous and spontaneous? This is a change of attitude in life. I have never realized it before and cannot change it. Now that I know, changes may happen naturally in the subconscious.
Then, go to experience or observe something. To experience and see how much the price will be paid by those without autonomy. If you are still young, you can properly experience setbacks and failures.
Many people were scolded and messed up for not being active enough, and felt ashamed and shameless. Then, like being touched by God, like being enlightened by the Buddha, suddenly awake. The younger the person, the lower the cost of making mistakes.
Even if you lose nothing because of laziness and slack, but fortunately, you are still young. Learning autonomy in failures and setbacks is almost a privilege enjoyed by young people. If you are no longer young and can’t stand the toss, you may be able to watch those who have experienced suffering, watch their disappointment and pain, and experience the irreparable consequences.
Just like some people who have been cynical all their lives, suddenly went bankrupt one day, and worked hard to do a humble job, only then suddenly understood the meaning of diligence and hard work.
Just like some people staying up all night every day, one day unfortunately, a serious illness, and then miraculously healed and discharged from the hospital, they suddenly realized that they should take extra care of their body.
If those pits are full of the figures and footprints of the predecessors, why should I fall in and experience again. No matter what kind of person you are, if you want to truly have autonomy, you have to watch or experience the huge setbacks, realize the huge pain, and enjoy the fun of overcoming it, to become a truly active person.
Maybe someone said, is it really possible? is there time? You have a choice. You have a choice. You have a choice. Bless those who have learned autonomy after suffering setbacks and sufferings.
I also wish you can have this most precious quality and ability without suffering so much. I hope you can regain your choice and have a life where you have the final say.
Comments